Long Distance Lessons & Our Next Big Move
For the past year or so, all we could think about was trying to find a way to stay in Australia.
When we arrived, we instantly fell in love with Sydney. When we got the opportunity to extend our visas for a second year, we got our farm work done. When my second year visa got denied, and Pabs’ approved, we decided to do long distance and keep fighting for our common goal: living in Sydney.
Pabs has been working in an insurance company for over a year now, and he’s loved it. He’s learned A LOT and has grown immensely as a professional, all while working toward something more permanent. For months, there was talks of him possibly getting sponsored. Pabs would get excited with the possibility and we would dream about our future in Sydney. But with time, it seemed to be getting less and less probable, considering the Australian Government asks for more experience in the field in order to get sponsored.
So, the company started looking at other options for him. Maybe they could send him to Manila, Philippines in hopes of him working there for a year and gaining experience (in order to hopefully return to Sydney, sponsored, in the future). Even though living in Manila was never our initial or ideal plan, we would dream of all the adventures and stories and learning that would come out of a year living in the Philippines.
But, with time, this possibility became less probable as well.
All of these possible futures were fun to imagine, but definitely took a toll on the both of us.
This has been our first time apart in our almost 7 year relationship. Sure, we’ve had months of being apart while one of us travels, but we’ve never had full on different lives away from eachother, much less with a 14 hour time difference.
The first week was fucking hard. After living with Pabs for 13 months, away from all our friends and family and sometimes spending 24 hours – 7 days a week together (thanks farm work), coming home and being without him felt SO WEIRD. At first I didn’t know what to do with myself. I kept longing to tell him about my day: -trying to call him, only to see that whoops he’s sleeping.. or wait is he? what time is it there again?- over and over again.
But with time we got used to it. He moved into a house with a shitload of flatmates (and one of his best friends from Argentina) in Newtown (one of Sydney’s coolest neighborhoods). I started living in both my dad’s apartment and my best friend Dani’s apartment, which are located a 10 min walk away from each other, in one of Santiago’s coolest neighborhoods, Providencia.
So our first months apart consisted of exploring new places none of us had lived in before. But there was a big difference in our daily lives:
Pabs lived a life of routine.
I lived a life of who knows what i’ll be doing tomorrow.
I worked random jobs, mostly as a substitute teacher at my former high school. Some weeks I’d have no money, other weeks i’d be rolling in it. Aaaand i’d spend most of it on beers haha
Being back home, it was easy for me to spend every day doing something. There was always a friend or family member to catch up with. A new vegan restaurant to try with my bestie. I haven’t even been able to binge watch a show cuz i’ve been so busy being out & about 🙄 haha, my dad constantly says to me “you’re just non-stop, aren’t you?”
shoutout to my lovely friends who keep me busy
So during my third month without Pabs, I started forgetting what life with him was like. I started getting used to my non-routine, to moving around the city with a bag full of clothes and a tooth brush, always staying at different friends’ apartments, answering to no one but myself. I got used to always having way too many plans. And during that time, I forgot to communicate with Pabs properly.
If you’ve ever been in a long distance relationship, you know the key to making it work is communication. Something both Pabs and I have done wrong, is assume the other person knows something you’ve done or something you’re feeling. We got so caught up in our lives and how each of us is feeling that we forget to empathize with each other.
We found ourselves fighting more than we ever had, over the stupidest shit. Things like “why is ur phone always on low battery!?” (because I left my charger at one of the 4 places I move to and from 🙄). Or sometimes I’d send a message on whatsapp that meant one thing, and it was interpreted as something completely different and heeeree we go agaaainn.
But we’ve been conscious of our mistakes and have been working on enduring these last weeks with better communication.
Even though I loved my life in Sydney, I’ve found myself to be quite content back home. The first months away from Australia all I wanted was to return and was really jealous of Pabs cuz he got to stay. But now i’m good either way, enjoying discovering my city (& country) with new eyes.
However.. Pabs hasn’t been enjoying Sydney as much as we thought he would. He’s already explored enough of the city to not be constantly amazed by everything like he used to be. He’s been focused on working. And with me not there by him, to share the whole “Australia Experience” with… Australia has kind of lost its shine for Pabs. Being alone and away from all his loved ones, he’s become increasingly anxious to come back home. And kind of jealous of me for being here 🙃
So.
A few weeks ago we were talking about our plans and what the fuuuc we’re gonna do. Plan Z has always been to come back home to Chile. We always kind of saw coming home after Australia as some kind of failure. Our initial plan was to work in Australia for a year and then travel for another. Yep, that didn’t happen, cuz we decided to put all our efforts towards staying in Australia. And that didn’t work out either 💁🏽♀️ Our plans have changed SO many times since that initial, ideal plan (just ask Dani, who has been informed of each one of these plans and is constantly like “what now!?!?” haha). And after living here for the past 4 months now, i’ve realized this city is fucking awesome. Living in the actual city (instead of the suburbs like I did all my life) is so much fun. Walking everywhere. Markets around the corner. Lots of vegan cafes popping up. Living a few blocks away from my friends. Having all these awesome hills to hike inside the city. Being a walkable distance from all the pubs, restaurants and subway stations. The list goes on.
A few weeks ago, we were pondering whether coming back to Chile would be such a bad thing after all. And we came to the unanimous decision that no, it wouldn’t actually be a bad idea at all. It’d be a great. fucking. idea. Being close to our friends and family? Getting a place for ourselves that we could decorate with our own shit? Not having to live with strangers as flatmates? Start figuring out what we’re gonna do about our wedding? Start saving up? Maybe study something?
These are all amazing things. So yes, it’s official:
We’re moving back to Santiago.
And no, we’re not sad. On the contrary… we’re really excited! There’s many things we loved about Australia and we really wanted it to work out but sometimes life has other plans, and that’s alright maybe it took us going to the other side of the world to realize how much we like our city, how much we like our routine, having our own stuff, etc.
Australia taught us so much. We have grown heaps as individuals and in our relationship. And we plan to keep on exploring the world. But we’ve realized we’re not built for the hostel & backpacker life. We’ve been missing having that home base. A place from where we can plan our next adventure. A place where we can host dinners and bbqs for our friends. A place for lazy afternoons, just Pabs and I. A place we can look forward to coming back to:
